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Just like the time I was cleaning my closet and my mom and her friend Ron came in to take one of their grunting naps on the bed.
First, [Kenneth], I need you to go to the dry cleaners for me and find out how martinizing works. Then I need you to be back by noon to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it.
-- And also, canned laughter costs a lot; we can't afford it. Ironically, despite Christine's badmouthing of canned laughter in this sketch, canned laughter would become part of the spinoff "Whatever Turns You On" a few months later, and of "YCDTOTV" itself by 1982.]Jim: GOOD! AND DON'T ASK ME WHERE I'M GOIN', DON'T ASK ME WHAT TIME I'LL BE BACK, AND WHEN I DO GET BACK, HAVE SUPPER READY FOR ME ON THE TABLE! I don't want anyone using that executive washroom except the executives! Aw, c'mon, you guys, I didn't think they were on the market yet! In this sketch, Christine, Lisa and Doug lean in progressively closer toward Kevin, who is wearing a leather jacket, and finally are leaning in so close that he falls out of his desk.]Christine: Hi, and welcome to another episode of "You Can't Do That On Television". What you do is, you call the show all-new and better than ever, and then you present the viewers with less content. No, no, what I meant to say is sometimes you'll forget some of the whips. In one chair, on the same side of the house as the TV, sits Valerie, knitting, and in the other chair on the other side of the white line sits Lance, reading the paper. While you're at it, why don't you tell him that I just finished washing the dirty books I found in your closet. They couldn't believe any boy had so many zits or such bad breath. And since today's show is about generosity, I thought I'd be real nice and generous and let someone introduce the show, so...
Christine: As you may have guessed this week's show is about drugs. I mean, she even has the nerve to say that I'm addicted to making a mess.
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